


Maybe our time has come

by TwilightLegacy13



Category: The Witchlands Series - Susan Dennard
Genre: Crack, F/F, Fluff, I am so sorry, One Shot, This fandom has one braincell and we use it to talk about the characters being dumb and drunk, This is so stupid but it was so fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:33:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28020216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwilightLegacy13/pseuds/TwilightLegacy13
Summary: In a get-together with all of the friends and allies, Lev gets very drunk and says some things to Vaness.  This is complete and utter bullshit, and meant to be taken as such.  Written because of this Tumblr conversation thread:https://thevoidwell.tumblr.com/post/636991218455396352/i-know-you-sent-me-this-ask-but-im-intrigued-toAlso, the title of this fic comes from the song "Plum" by Troye Sivan.  The song is completely unrelated, but they're drinking plum brandy in this, and that lyric just fits in with this absolute crack fic.  Enjoy!
Relationships: Lev/Vaness
Comments: 6
Kudos: 3





	Maybe our time has come

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry. But no I'm not.
> 
> Content warnings: Alcohol use, mild language.

Safi knew brilliance when she saw it, and she was sure that this celebratory reunion of her friends and allies had been, in spite of the ease with which it claimed the rank, one of her best ideas. However, she was also a reasonable person, and she could also recognize the flaws in her plan.

Like inviting Lizl when all the abbot wanted to do was challenge Aeduan to spar, which wouldn’t have been a problem if the latter didn’t have to take care of children instead of dueling. And trying to dance the Nubrevnan four-step with a slightly intoxicated Merik and ending up on the floor after he tripped over her ankles and knocked them both over with his Windwitchery. And the plum brandy. Yes, that had definitely been a flaw.

Technically, _that_ hadn’t been Safi’s idea—it had been Leopold’s—but she had allowed it. This was Safi’s little gathering and she hadn’t intended to have any alcohol there, but Leopold had insisted that they were all friends and there was no harm in having fun together, so she gave in and let him bring the brandy. The Nubrevnans then insisted on bringing something else on the grounds that the Cartorran drink was disgusting, and Vaness wasn’t one to be outdone. Now here they were, and Safi, Iseult, Aeduan, and Ryber were the only adults here who were completely sober.

It was her Threadsister that she spoke with now, sitting together in the corner of the room while Safi caught her breath from the disastrous four-step. This hadn’t been what she had in mind when she suggested everyone meeting together after months spread across the continent in various countries, but it was fun and lighthearted nonetheless, and after their narrow victory in the war, she would take whatever she could get.

“Safi!” Caden interrupted. She glanced up to see him smiling widely, his eyes glassy and bright with excitement. “You’ve got to come here.”

“Why? What is it?”

He laughed, even though she wasn’t sure what was funny. “Lev is drunk.”

“So are you, Caden.”

“No, she…” He trailed off, chuckling again. “Just come here.”

Safi glanced at Iseult, who shrugged, barely repressing a smile. With a mirrored shrug, she rose to her feet and followed Caden, who only stumbled a little as he walked over to the others. Vivia and Stix were dancing a bit slower than the music warranted, their hands clasped as they spun in circles around the floor. Leopold lounged sideways in a chair, his feet propped up on the armrest of another chair beside him as he intently listened to a conversation between Vaness and the Hell-Bards, an empty glass in his hand.

Or, now that she was within earshot, a conversation just between Vaness and Lev. Zander, too, was watching in silence as Lev leaned closer to the empress with a sloppy grin. “And your hair,” she said, reaching out as if intending to run her fingers through it before Vaness swatted her hand away. “So—so pretty.”

_What in the hell-gates is going on?_

“How much of the brandy did you have?” Vaness asked, sounding amused. At least her inhibitions had been lowered enough for her to not threaten the Hell-Bard’s life for being so absurd.

“Hmm,” Lev murmured absently, as though trying to remember. “Doesn’t matter.”

The empress shook her head disbelievingly. “You’re acting like a fool, all because of something that isn’t even good.”

“Have you tried it?” she countered. “Here—c’mon—” She grabbed the bottle and reached for a new glass, but her fingers were evidently not working well, and the glass slipped from her hand before she could pour anything into it. Safi leapt back from the shards scattering across the floor, but Lev just stared at them for a long moment before falling into hysterical laughter. Caden snickered beside her, though Safi wasn’t sure if it was at the way his friend was acting or because he, too, thought the broken glass was funny.

“Give me that before you drop it,” Vaness ordered, taking the bottle from Lev. The Hell-Bard looked personally betrayed until Vaness poured herself a glass of the Cartorran brandy. If she was being honest, Safi was surprised that the empress was going along with this instead of putting a stop to it once it had started.

Vaness surveyed it critically before taking a small sip. She winced. “You like this?”

Lev glanced down at the floor to where Zander had bent down to pick up the shards of glass. Safi sank down into a crouch to help him, as no one else seemed inclined to do it, but thankfully she could still hear every word.

“Ah, but you’re Marstoki,” Leopold interrupted. “Of course you wouldn’t.”

“You _are_ Marstoki,” Lev agreed, the syllables slurring together in a way that, between the alcohol and her accent, made her nearly incomprehensible. “The loveliest. So…” she trailed off and Safi looked up to see her frowning in determination. When she brushed three of her fingers together in what was presumably meant to be a frustrated snap, it occurred to Safi that she was trying to think of the word she wanted. “Elegant!” she exclaimed delightedly, looking very proud of herself.

Sharp glass sliced into Safi’s palm, and she cursed. It served her right for choosing to watch a drunk Hell-Bard be ridiculous instead of focusing on the broken pieces.

Safi continued gathering up the shards, putting them on the corner of a tray that Zander had brought down to the floor. It wasn’t until blood smeared across the glass that she realized she had cut herself worse than she’d thought—Zander, seeing it too, grabbed her wrist and flipped her hand so her bleeding palm was facing up. He simply stared at it, as though confused by what it meant and how it had happened, then blinked slowly.

“Thrice-damn it, Zander, we’re picking up broken glass. But maybe you shouldn’t be.” The brandy was _definitely_ a mistake.

“Sorry.” Zander’s next words were interrupted by Leopold tossing a crumpled handkerchief down to them.

Now Safi blinked. “Polly?”

“For your hand,” Leopold said carelessly.

With a muttered thank-you, she wrapped her palm with the handkerchief, struggling to tie the ends with one hand. She would have asked Caden or Zander to help her if she thought they would make it any easier.

Taking care to be a bit more cautious, Safi finished picking up the glass and rose to her feet again to see that Lev was inching closer to Vaness again. If she kept doing that for much longer, she’d end up in her lap, and Safi knew that even slightly drunk as she was, Vaness wouldn’t allow _that._

Leopold leaned closer to Vaness as well, his open hand extended. The empress blinked as if overwhelmed by all of the Cartorrans surrounding her before evidently realizing that he wanted the brandy. She handed him the bottle—then, when Lev reached for the glass that she hadn’t finished, handed that over as well.

Lev truly didn’t need anything more to drink, but she took a long gulp before trying to stand. She immediately tripped over nothing, toppling forward into Vaness. The empress shook her head again before steadying the Hell-Bard, who settled into a somewhat-sitting position on the armrest of Vaness’s chair.

“’s charming, isn’t it?” she asked, her words a low slur.

“What is?” Vaness asked resignedly.

Lev giggled. She had a nice laugh, but her utter incoherence made it sound a bit foolish. “This was yours.” She held up the glass, which had miraculously not spilled when she stumbled. “Only you didn’t like it ’cause…’cause…”

Vaness raised her eyebrows. “You seemed to think it was because I’m Marstoki. Really it was because it’s revolting.”

“Oh, you _are_ Marstoki!” If she was delighted before, now she was giddy. “The best. The prettiest. Pretty people should dance at parties. There’s music.”

“I am not going to dance, Lev.”

Lev’s face fell. She looked, though as far from sober as one could possibly get, mildly serious. “Why not? Y’know, you’re v-very stoic but I think you like me a little bit.”

As a rule, it was difficult for Safi to think people were funny when they were drunk. After so many years of putting up with Eron’s sloppy mood changes and the only tolerable parts of his personality getting drowned by wine, the apparently relatable humor was hard to find. But even Safi could admit there was something truly bizarre about seeing Lev flirt so earnestly with Vaness, the empress of Marstok.

Before Vaness could answer, Lev continued, a smile tugging at her lips again. “And wha’ was I…oh! Charming. This was yours and now I’m having it and ’s like we’re sharing. And you’re so clever and adorably small and —and you’re gonna go back to Marstok and be the queen, or the…the queen, isn’ it? And you’ll be the _best_ ‘cause you’re just….” She tipped back the rest of the brandy before setting down the glass a bit too hard and flinging her arms around Vaness’s neck. Vaness visibly tensed, but she surprisingly allowed it. “’Mazing, and I know I k-kidnapped you and I think I hurt you, but I love you really, and—”

“Dear _gods_ ,” Caden said, taking the brandy from Leopold and drinking straight from the bottle.

Vaness’s face was flushed, and Safi doubted it was from the alcohol. What a scene this made: the empress of Marstok being awkwardly hugged by an extremely drunk Hell-Bard who was practically in her lap and professing her love. The utter confusion on Vaness’s face was almost comical, but Safi decided to try to save her this time.

“Lev, you really should rest,” she insisted. She glanced over at Leopold for support, but he was too busy scowling at Caden for stealing the brandy, and Caden was too busy drinking the brandy he’d stolen, so she turned to Zander. He nodded.

Lev sighed loudly, her green eyes bloodshot and glazed over. “But…but we haven’t danced yet.”

“There’s no way you’re dancing in this state,” Zander said firmly—and Safi was grateful that, in spite of his muddled mind earlier, he was at least in agreement with her in _that_.

“C’mon, Zan,” she whined, almost childishly. “’m fine. See?” Lev patted Vaness on the cheek before shakily rising to her feet, but she’d only made it a few wobbling steps before her knees buckled. Zander caught her, picking her up so that he could carry her. She was out cold.

Safi washed her hands of the matter and went to find Iseult.

In spite of having washed her hands of the matter, Safi stopped by the suite where the Hell-Bards were staying the next morning. It was still fairly early, and they might not be awake yet, but the situation was too absurd for her to not tease someone about it.

Safi hesitated before going inside Lev’s room, but then decided that the sun was shining through the sheer curtains so she probably wasn’t asleep any longer. She stepped inside to see that Caden and Zander were perched on the edge of her bed and Lev was sitting up against the pillows with her hand cupped over her eyes.

“She wakes,” Safi announced dramatically, crossing the room to stand beside them.

“Could you be a little louder?” Lev murmured softly, bowing her head.

“What do you remember?” Zander asked sympathetically.

Caden frowned. “ _I_ only remember bits and pieces, so the whole night must have been a complete blur for you, Lev.”

“I don’t remember a damned thing.” She slowly picked up her head, opening her eyes but wincing in pain. “For the best?”

“Probably,” Safi admitted. “You wouldn’t stop flirting with Vaness. You said you loved her.”

Lev went pale. She had already looked sick before Safi said it, but this seemed more like shock or mortification. Or both. “What did she do?”

“She blushed and went quiet once you said that. Before, she was…well, Vaness.”

Someone cleared their throat from the door, and Safi glanced over to see the empress herself standing in the hall. “Safi,” she said. “Vivia told me you had come in here, and I wanted to ask you something.”

“Gladly,” Safi replied—and then, because she really couldn’t let this go too easily, added, “Come in! We can all talk.”

Vaness bit her lip before joining them cautiously. “If you are—”

“So,” Lev interjected, squinting at Vaness to avoid seeing too much of the sunlight. “Apparently I said some things.”

“That you did.” Vaness folded her arms, clearly waiting for an explanation or an apology or _something_.

Lev cracked a smile. “Darling.”

Safi dropped her face in her hands to hide her laughter, so she didn’t see Vaness’s reaction, but even her Truthwitchery hadn’t been enough to help her realize if Lev was joking.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm very proud to claim the title of author of the stupidest fic this fandom will ever see. :)


End file.
